Living life

I often journey to Wendy's to grab some food. I can't count the number of times in Blacksburg I walked or drove over to the building on the corner of Price's Fork and North Main. Since school, though, I still make my way over for a sandwich and fries. But I digress.

In most Wendy's locations, a little box sits near the cash register for the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. I haven't looked into it, but I'm sure its an incredible organization that needs every donation available to continue its work. You've probably seen other boxes with slots for spare change and bills as donations for different causes in other places. As I dropped my change into the slot, I started thinking about what it meant. I was dropping a few cents, the leftovers from what I paid for my meal, to help this organization. What I realized is that so often we give our spare change, our leftovers, to different causes in our lives. But how often do we give our all? How often do we go without a meal, for example, and give that money so others can eat? I don't think I have.

What I'm getting at is how in many areas of our lives we are content to give just a little, just what we have left after our needs are met. I've seen it in my own life. Seems like I do that with God sometimes. I settle for the bare minimum, whatever that may be in my own eyes, instead of working towards giving it everything I've got. Why do we do this? Is it laziness? Fear? What holds us back from living like we mean it?

I was hit with this earlier today as I stood in Wendy's waiting for my Frosty. I should live life with everything I've got. Yes, it is harder and scarier and less convenient. But everything I've learned the past few years has shown me that living life to its fullest, whatever that may mean, is definitely worth it. What do you think?

The first step is figuring out how.
The second is getting up the courage to move.

I pray we'll get up and move.

Ashley Nicole Cassell

Last Friday, 12/16/11, was the one-year anniversary of a dear friend's passing out of this life. She had incredible faith and perseverance in the midst of pain and suffering. Although her body was frail, her heart and spirit were vibrant and full of energy. She had numerous health problems since birth, many caused by a very weak immune system. All the time I knew her she was confined in a wheelchair. She had a cane and could walk and stand for short periods of time. Her health fluctuated all the time and she was in the hospital many times.

But this post isn't about the weakness of my friend's body. This post is about her showing us that life is worth living - even when nothing makes sense, our world falls around us, and pain seems a constant part of life.

Ashley loved to write and receive letters, even in this digital age. She said there was just something special about writing a letter and getting a letter someone wrote. I had the privilege to trade letters with her for three or four years before she died. Even when she couldn't write due to medication issues, she would type them and print them out to send to me and others. What struck me most, aside from her patient endurance, was her sense of hope.

I know few people who have such extreme hope. Through her trials and pain and setbacks, she held onto the joy and hopefulness that caused her to be such a light to all of us. It was incredible. She was so optimistic about the future, whether the possibility that she could walk with RGO's and enough practice, or my upcoming graduation and job hunt. Although her future was cut short by a bout of pneumonia she couldn't overcome, her optimism concerning life itself always amazed me. And continues to. When I get weighed down by the troubles in my life, I remember my friend Ashley. One of the quotes from her letters that comes to mind is from Viktor Frankl, a man who endured Nazi concentration camps and concluded that even in the worst situations, life is still potentially meaningful; so even suffering can have meaning. "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

I wish you could have known her. I don't know where you stand on the whole "afterlife" thing, but I believe my friend is finally at peace, free from the physical and emotional pain that showed up each day for her. And I can't wait to take a walk with her one day. One of her last statuses was an anonymous quotation, "Peace is not the absence of affliction, but the presence of God."

the human condition

Tonight I am struck with how broken our world is. Yesterday a troubled young man shot and killed a policeman who was performing a routine traffic stop. This happened at a place which has had its share of violence and pain over the past five years. Although not directly affected by those events, my life has been shaped by them over the past four years. Countless friends I've made were hurt by that day, and I see it resurfacing with the events of this Thursday. Death and fear brought at the end of a gun. It just reminds me how broken and shattered this world has become.

Earlier today I was sitting in a waiting room at the hospital down in Winston-Salem. I have to travel there each year for them to look at my eyes (when I was a baby they did some major surgeries on my left eye). I was sitting in the waiting room for them to call me in and take some pictures. While there I noticed the rest of the chairs were filled with people who looked tired and shaken. A woman beside me was talking to another older woman sitting with her husband. He was called into the room and seemed disoriented. His wife began telling us that the past three years were harder than anything we could imagine. Her husband's only brother and only son had been diagnosed with different cancers within months of each other and had passed away recently. His daughter-in-law was going through medical difficulties as well. He himself had a debilitating medical condition and was now losing his slowly losing his sight. You could tell she was at the end of her rope and was tired of this life.

As I sat there listening to her story, the woman beside me could only place a hand on her and said she would pray for her. She then began to say that to compare her problems would be insensitive, but that she was dealing with two sons who had disabilities. Her five-year-old had a mental condition and was not expected to live more than a year from now. She herself was the victim of a home invasion last month and was beaten unconscious. She said that's why she was at the hospital today; to see if her sight would be permanently damaged.

Both women sat in silence and I pleaded with God for something to say, some words of comfort to pour into their lives. But the magnitude of their suffering overwhelmed me. As I listened, I wondered how they could get up each morning and face the day. The woman beside me said "I keep asking God why He keeps putting me through this. He knows I don't have a big 'S' on my chest. There's no cape on my back. I'm not Superman." She asked me about my story this year, and I mentioned how I had recently graduated from Tech. Naturally the events of yesterday came up, and we discussed them briefly. We agreed that this world in which we live is very difficult. More difficult than I had ever realized sometimes. The woman beside me talked about how people we see every day can be going through such fierce battles in their lives and we never know it. The pain and exhaustion in both women's eyes were evident. I thought we had reached a point where mere words weren't enough.

Then I remembered a quote from Mother Teresa that I was able to paraphrase for them. "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle, but I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

The feelings behind that statement won't make the pain go away. They won't make life turn rosy and perfect for these women and their families. But the moment of laughter brought a smile to their faces. Maybe it was a reminder that the darkness we walk through isn't complete.

Shortly afterward I was called into the room and once the pictures were taken I was back in the hallway by the waiting room. The two women I had been talking with were gone, and the room was filled with other families. I never got their names, and I doubt I'll ever see them again, but I'm sure their stories will stick with me. We don't have the answers for why life is so hard, or why terrible things happen to good people, but we can have hope. You can call it coincidence, but I feel there was a reason I was in that waiting room this morning. The doctor I was seeing decided to have them take pictures of my eyes, something they hadn't done since 2004. I was next to a woman who was open and honest about discussing her life with total strangers, which reminded me how we are built for community. We can't make it through the hardships of this world without community, whether it be close friends or complete strangers.

So I sit here and try to put all this together.

We live in a shattered world.
But we have a hope that transcends the brokenness.

What we need

"Thank You for being the God You are, the God we need, not the God we want You to be."

The above words popped into my head a couple days ago. Sometimes when we take things into our own hands, thinking that our way is best, it doesn't end too well. You can apply that to many aspects of life, spiritual or otherwise. But as I sit here it occurs to me that so often we want God to do something our way, to give us what we think is best, to show up and act the way we feel he should, and to approve our choices and decisions while disregarding the fact that he may have another idea. I stand in awe that God does not bend to our every whim but is steadfast and intelligent enough to know what is truly best for us. Although that can be pretty hard to see sometimes. What is best for us, what we truly need, usually can seem like terrible medicine. And maybe it takes a while to see the effects.

Some would say that it is obvious that a Being as great and other-worldly as God would be set apart from us and capable of things far beyond our ability to grasp and comprehend. And yet I find over and over again that this God who could form the heavens actually takes an interest in our lives here on this bit of rock floating through space. He concerns himself with our endeavors and cares about our problems. Jesus spoke about telling God the things that you need, the problems you face, the worries that consume you, and he would handle them. Maybe not how we would have thought, maybe not how we would have at all; but the important part is that God supplies our needs.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” – Philippians 4:19-20

So many times we want God to do something, to act a certain way, to intervene at a certain point. And then we get discouraged when he doesn't. We get frustrated when it seems like things are crashing down around us. Or when the timing isn't right. Or when things happen that we thought he could prevent or fix. May we take comfort and, more importantly, hope, in the promise that he may not be predictable, but he will be there for us and he will act according to his timing and his purpose.

Truth can set you free.

Within the past week I have noticed that many of my friends have faced and are in the midst of facing some very hard and difficult times that range from relationship issues to sobering life questions and decisions. Years ago a man who has become a very close friend told me that I had the gift of encouragement. Whether you believe spiritual gifts to be divinely inspired or born of personality traits I'll let you decide. As for me, I feel it is a spiritual gift God has given me to reach into others' lives and brighten them. Just part of the story God is writing with my life.

What amazes and inspires me is that in a few short days I have realized the importance of pouring truth into people's lives within whatever situation they may find themselves. Whether it was a relationship that was wreaking havoc on the heart and causing self-doubt and disillusionment, or difficulties in life that were shaking confidence in even our deepest faith, my friends were facing situations I have never quite experienced. But I found that truth, in all its many forms, could be a powerful remedy. Because truth can remind us of things we've always known but may have forgotten, it can comfort us in our darkest hour, and it can give us something solid to stand on as we pull ourselves from the darkness.

The past few days I've reminded friends that they are beautiful, that they are strong, that they deserve better than what they are settling for, and that I am glad to be their friend. I've reminded them that our God stands close to us even in our worst times. We bear the image of the divine. We can hold onto love regardless of how someone has hurt us. I'm reminded that I cannot look at people for who they are or what they have done to me or those I care about, but I must look at them for what they are. For what I am. A shattered image of God. A forgiven and resurrected soul.

I ask you, look around and see the people in your life. We all need love and encouragement. Truth can bring that. Pray and think and ask and figure out how you can, as Jim Pace would say, "punch into someone's soul" with the words they need to hear. It can change everything.

Some words from Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” 

Back to Blacksburg...

Blacksburg, my home away from home for most of the past 4 1/2 years. I've visited off and on over the past several months for football and friends. A piece of my heart will always be here. As I write this I'm on a friend's couch in a townhouse near Lane Stadium. Last night's football game (LET'S GO HOKIES!) was a fantastic reason to take a bit of vacation from work. As I hung out with old friends last night and plan to do the same today, it got me thinking about all the memories I've had in this place. I discovered myself on this campus. Here's  just a few of the things I learn when I come back...

1. True friends are forever. Sure that sounds cliche, but so many of the people I've met here have shown me what true friendship really means. Friends are there for you in the deepest and most meaningful way. Whether its life issues or school issues or spiritual issues or a usual combination of them all, true friends stick with you. And as I drive back here and see the people who I have walked with and fought with and struggled through life with over the past four years, it reminds me of our resiliency. It reminds me of the deep love within a group of people with shared experiences. And it constantly reminds me of our desperate and human need for community. We are not wired to walk this earth alone. We aren't built that way and I don't think we are meant to live that way. I found that community through [nlcf] (www.nlcf.net) and through all those crazy and amazing people in my major. It hurts me to not be around my friends and this community I've known for years now, but as my brother Franklin said, "We are connected by bonds far stronger than distance."

2. Hokie Nation. Hokie Pride. We are Virginia Tech. We are the Hokies. To some those words and statements are nice little slogans for a group of people affiliated with a particular college. For us it runs in our blood. The vast majority of students and alumni I know have such passion and spirit for this university it is stunning. And inspiring. We have a stone the football players touch before every entrance into Lane Stadium. Above it are inscribed the words "For those who have passed, for those to come, reach for excellence."

3. Times change. I'm no longer a student here and I can never come back here as I once did, looking forward to an apartment with my old roommates and the challenges of classes. But life moves on, and we are always writing new chapters in our story. Between looking ahead to the future and remembering the past, it can be somewhat intimidating. But my brothers Nick and Franklin seem to always remind me that what we've been through prepares us for the unknown, and that we do not walk alone. Not only do I have a community of friends and family that will stand by me, I have a God who will lead me, guide me, and walk with me every step of the way. That is both encouraging and challenging. May I always strive to be better than who I was yesterday. And may I keep my eyes open to what the Lord wants me to see.

"Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds." - Psalm 77:10-12

"Do you see her?"

A month or so ago my pastor back home told the story of Jesus going to have dinner at Simon's house, one of the Pharisees. Having dinner with someone in that time meant you respected the person hosting the dinner enough to join them and sit at their table. During his time there, a woman who had "led a sinful life" came to Jesus, poured perfume on his feet as an anointing and wet his feet with her tears. When Simon saw this he was disgusted and wondered to himself how Jesus could bear to let this "sinner" touch him. Jesus gets that vibe from Simon that he disapproves of this woman and tells him a story about grace overcoming debt and how love can come from that. Check it out in Luke 7:36-50.

What Jesus says next has stuck with me. Depending on the translation, Jesus turned to the woman and said to Simon,

"Do you see this woman?"
"Look at this woman kneeling here."
"Have you noticed this woman?"

I added the emphasis. Now obviously, Simon had seen and noticed this woman who knelt by Jesus. But he had already made up his mind about her. Without even thinking about what she was doing or what her actions may signify, Simon jumped to his conclusion of "she is trash and Jesus should know better than to let her near him."

But Jesus calls him out on it. He says "Simon, you aren't really seeing her. You haven't even looked at her." It amazes me, firstly, that Christ always sides with the underdogs, the ones our society and sometimes our churches reject and look down upon. That shows a lot about God's character. Secondly, Jesus always calls us to look deeper, past the superficial prejudices we hold. Simon was busy seeing her failures, while Christ saw her sacred humanity, her love for him, and her place in his Kingdom.

So what about us? Do we see a homeless bum on the street, or do we stop and listen to his story? Are we ready to condemn a woman who made a wrong choice, or will we move into her life with a love that passes understanding and work to heal her wounds? Do we jump to who and what we think a man is, or do we take the time to walk with him and learn about him? Simon was shortsighted, he couldn't see who she really was or what she could become. Let's not fall into that trap. We need to strive to look at people and see who they are through the eyes of Christ - forgiven, beloved, broken, beautiful images of God himself. Because that can change everything.

Why "Under Open Skies" ?

And so I begin my adventure into the world of blogging. 

Why, you may ask, did I choose a phrase from a David Crowder Band song? 

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwM8vgulzdI) 

The answer, dear reader, is that the song has meant quite a lot to me over the past few years. It has such simple and profound lyrics that have always touched me deeply. It also relates to the final verses of Psalm 150: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Both this song and this Psalm reveal our calling to praise our Father with everything we have. All of creation is praising Him. His people should too. 

"Open Skies" also reminds me constantly of my community of believers at [nlcf] in Blacksburg. Every time I hear the song, I think of the memories and friends and experiences I had there. The lyrics below really capture that feeling. It was the [nlcf] community that helped me discover the mercy and mystery of Christ. 

"In the company 

of all who love the King

I will dance, I will sing

It could be heavenly

Turn the music loud,

Lift my voice and shout"

So I started wondering what "open skies" means for different people. Maybe it highlights our relative insignificance to the expansive world around us. Maybe it frees us to better connect with a God we feel is up among the heavens. Maybe it is just amazing to have a sunny, cloudless day. You have to admit, though, there is something wonderful about being out under open skies. It reminds us that our world can be beautiful. 

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."

Psalm 19:1-4

So let's praise Him under open skies.